From the mouth of Ludacris himself!

As I sit here amidst all these boxes as we begin to put our house in to a box, I am beginning to get nostalgic and a little sad. But before I do, for some bizarre reason all I can hear in my head is "Roooooooolllllll out!" from the lyrical rap genius, Ludacis hmself!! And to be entirely honest, the only thing keeping me from belting it out and throwing some 'bows, is the simple fact that my son, Ben, is STILL napping! As we embark on this move in the next few days, any 'bow dropping while rapping a little "Roll out" would definitely be felt by each individual in our clan as we gear up for the next few weeks of resettling! Even an enthusiastic "Word!" will surely be felt by us! :) And if I am still in the mood for "throwing some 'bows" I know that my enthusiasm will reach all who read this wherever you are!
OK - in all seriousnes...we're moving! And it has really surprised me at how much I am beginning to miss this quiet little town, we call Clovis. Some call it Cowtown, but around here that name does not stand out much as everything in the "High Plains region" lives and breathes cows and dairy. Literally. Anyway....(gosh it's sad how once you're out of college and no longer have papers to write, that the only transition word I can think of is 'anyway'.) Yeah, so anyway, we're doing great here - Rob had his fini flight yesterday. So he got hosed down with water and champagne poured on him (well, in his case, sparkling grape juice) as he landed the Viper for the last time for a while. I swear, they're like a fraternity. And we're supposed to be grown ups! This is about all the insight I really have for today, but please keep us in your thoughts and prayers! We would really appreciate it!

Shocked with Shox!

So some may think that I am just blogging to blog by reading this silly blog! But in all seriousness and severity - I assure you that while I may sometimes look for a senseless reason to blog - this is NOT one of those times. I will explain....The three of us were at the mall the other day - let me inform all who may be unaware of the North Plains Mall in Clovis, NM. This is not a "shopping" mall - well, it is in fact a shopping mall, but there is not much available for actually shopping. In fact, it has lately become a place in which we take our son, Ben, to exhaust himself, so that he gets his daily dose of heebie jeebies out (which by the way, we have no idea where they actually come from). Annnnyyyyyway. You know those little 50 cent rides outside Walmarts or some big shopping place...which really used to be penny rides when we were little tikes? Well, Ben has grown to LOVE these things and there is a little cluster of about 5 rides or so in the North Plains "shopping" mall here in town. What am I talking about?! Oh yeah, Nikes! One of my favorite material things....of which I promise you there aren't many. Material things, that is. So we're walking in the mall, and we're done "shopping" (not really - mostly working on the whole heebie jeebie depletion thing) and I suggest we take Ben to one of these "penny rides." Rob says, "are you sure?" and he starts leading us AWAY from Ben's Heaven. So we follow him and he leads us into the sports store. There is no need to mention which one it is, as it is the ONLY one in the mall. We walk over to the shoe wall and Rob grabs the one pair of Nikes that I have been eyeballing and says, "You like these?" Clearly, a rhetorical question. He tells me to try them on. At this point my eyes are as big as saucers, and for those of you who don't know why - it is because my husband, not only is frugal, but constantly teases and rolls his eyes about my brand loyalty to Nike. He thinks it is crazy and senseless to spend that amount on sneakers. I was so flabbergasted, I kept whispering to the lady assisting me that I didn't know what had gotten in to him. But, I sure did have permagrin for some time afterward. Got to test drive them on a 4.5 mile run this morning, and they feel GREAT!!! You know what else?! I call my best friend from college, Emily, and she is like a Nike Queen....I think she may have been my influence....and I start telling her this amazing story. I am describing in detail the color (the shox part are a mint green) to which she says, "is there a mint green 'swoosh' on the toe part of the shoe?" Why, yes there is....and she tells me that she got the same pair a month ago! Isn't that just a classic textbook case of "ESP-N"?!??! To think that my best friend and I can still be as close as when we lived together in the dorms while we live so far apart! And to think that my aspirations of becoming a Nike Queen are within reach? There just isn't much else you could ask for. Except maybe for those "penny rides" to be a penny ride again....think of all the heebie jeebies we could get rid of.

GV means "Great Value"

Being a parent means a lot of things to different people and it almost always translates differently for people - since we're all different, right? Every day I discover something little that shows me just how being a parent has changed me. For instance - I am a cheap person. I'm not going to call myself frugal or some other politically correct term. I'm cheap....I love the dollar store, I love Walmart, I love the bargain...especially the "hunt"! With that being said, if there is an area where I am not this said cheapo, it is when it comes to my son, Ben. Normally I am the type of person who buys GV brand foods and products. Anyone who is like me knows that GV translates in to "Great Value" at the good ol' Sprawlmart (as my husband likes to call it). I will almost always choose this brand over Keebler, Nabisco, Pilgram's Pride, you name it. (with the exception of great foods such as Doritos and Oreos, some things just can't be substituted!) So back to this topic about how being a parent changes you in the littlest of ways. Several months ago, Ben was sick with some vomiting and diarrhea - so what do you go and buy to maintain hydration?! C'mon let me hear you all say it - Pedialyte! Doctor recommended, huh? So I cruise down the aisle that holds this product and what do I come across? Pedialyte alongside the off-brand-not-as-cool-stuff-are-you-really-going-to-buy-the-cheap-stuff-when-your-kid-is-sick?! wannabe Pedialyte. And do you know how much this off brand stuff costs?! LESS THAN HALF THE PRICE! So being the conscious consumer, I pull down a bottle of each and turn them both around to investigate the labels. Hmmmm...says they have the exact same "active ingredients" to relieve and rehydrate your sick child. After logic and reason set in that the off brand stuff will work just the same because their labels read identical and after standing there in contemplative thought, what do I do?!! What do you think I did?! Yes, you all know it after this long story. Yes, I did walk off with the $6 Pedialyte-I-want-the-best-for-my-child-any-respectable-parent-wouldn't-dream-of-buying-that-cheap-crap-if-they-loved-their-child! stuff. There you have it folks.

the mysterious category called "Other"

OK...so I started thinking today about a topic that crosses my mind, oh, let's say every time I have to fill out some sort of bubble sheet, scan tron, survey, questionaire, etc.....which since I am out of college isn't too often. But every once in a while when presented with the average survey - there is a certain spot in the form that causes me to stop and just gape at the piece of paper before me. Wanna know what that is?! It is the Race/Ethinicity portion! Seriously, who would think that causes people to stop filling out whatever it is they are filling out and just stare blankly? Now that I think about it, probably more than I think. I think for quite some time, I have confused myself AND "the system", because whenever I had to fill one of these out in school or college (which we all know is pretty frequently) I think I just colored in the bubble of that which I felt like the most - THAT day! Hmmmm....do I feel more "white" today or do I feel more "asian/pacific islander" today? Because, in all honesty, for a while I felt like I didn't want to be thrown in the "OTHER" category! The way I saw it was "who wants to be labelled 'other'?" What does "other" mean? Does it mean "you're just too complex to be given a specific category?" or does it mean "we really don't care what you are because it's not a name/place that we recognize right off the top of our heads, so we're going to call you 'other'?" Well, which is it!!!? You know it would be one thing if my blood had a majority of one ethnicity in it, and I could just abide by the "majority rules" method....but, no, it's gotta be 50/50! So, this is why for years I colored in the bubble based on the way I felt that day. More "white" today or more "asian" today? Then came the problem of wondering if anyone out there in one of these categories was going to think I was some sort of poser or sellout. I imagined them wondering, "does she honestly think she is white, just because everyone around her is white?!" or "does she really think that she is Asian/Pacific Islander just because her mom is?! She's never even lived in any of those regions!" Quite a tangent, huh? Well, I am saying today, that I am proudly choosing "other" on this myspace space...and saying yes to my heritage and blood. How am I doing this, you may wonder. By proudly choosing "other", I am embracing both my dominant ethnicities, but essentially saying "Yes - I am ambiguous!" Any of you ambiguous friends out there, I know you feel this! Word!

Rachel Ray - there is hope for me yet.

Soooo.... I don't have any natural skills in the kitchen! It's OK, I can admit it, and I am sure my darling husband would quickly argue with me, and if he were to actually be honest - he would provide some sort of disclaimer to the effect that I have SO MANY other attributes that he doesn't even notice that I struggle in this area! But seriously, if I were to try and pretend - I would look even more stupid acting like I CAN cook. So with that being said, I absolutely, positively love Rachel Ray's cooking style and approach. She has formed me in to a capable person in the kitchen. While I am not outstanding - I am literate and can follow direction, so because of her and because of school I can produce something edible and dare I say somewhat enjoyable. 30 minute meals is what she draws on for her audience, and she has surely suckered me in - as well as proven herself and the concept she endorses. For anyone who has limited time, or has little ankle biters (aka children), these recipes are super because they save on both time and money (in the fact that she uses several interchangeable ingredients with the same recipe to get something entirely different). Now that's cool! So I sound like an advertising testimony (much like Jessica Simpson promoting ProActiv, huh?) - but it is true - I have transformed from someone who hated the kitchen because she didn't know what to do with it or in it - in to someone who will actually cook a meal for someone other than her husband. And that says a lot because needless to say I didn't have much confidence making food for other people!

Worried that I haven't been Worrying Lately.

Ha! So I am worried about the fact that I haven't been a complete worry wart lately. Do you think there is something wrong with me?! Or is there something finally RIGHT with me? The answer lies in one of those questions, I prefer the latter one. It all began last week, when I noticed that I had been worrying less....I waited to write about it, because for all I know it could have been a random anomoly. But it seems to have occurred for days now - almost a WHOLE week. Weird. So something you must know about me for this to make any sort of sense. I confess. I have a small baby. That statement in itself was always a hard thing to vocalize, because the emotions attached with this truth have torn me apart for the majority of Ben's 14 months here on Earth. I know I am a girl, and even more, a mom, but I guarantee you that this is no exaggeration - just ask my husband, Rob. He has tried all approaches as the supportive husband, using biblical truths, common sense, rational thought - you name it, he tried it to get me to quit worrying about things I have no control over. As a side to anyone who doesn't see where I come from in terms of parenting or mothering - you do all this reading and listen to all these doctors - and size and growth are always emphasized. And rightfully so - you do the majority of growing in your childhood years. So while this topic has literally consumed me to the point of sadness and depression, lately I have finally let go of all my concerns. Is it because Ben's growing fast? Gosh, NO! He's still a runt, but in some way God has finally gotten through to me, something that I thought would never happen. (Something I am almost sure Rob would have thought would never happen.) Back to a few days ago - when it all began - I start telling Rob on the phone how I thought something had changed in my thinking. (Of course adding the disclaimer, "I am sure that I'll fall back in to worrying again in a few days, but I just have to tell you that there is no point in me worrying about things I can't change, and it's just easier to trust in God to grow Ben the way He will anyway.") He laughs! Wanna know why? Because these are things that he has been telling me all along, along with all the supportive friends and moms out there. And here I am speaking these things as if they were epiphanies! And you know what?! They WERE epiphanies to me at that moment, because while I have been hearing those things all along from Rob and friends, when you're blind to something you're blind to it, and there is no amount of support you can receive here on Earth if your heart isn't open to God. And mine wasn't, because I didn't want to release control and stop worrying....I wanted it to be my ballgame, and continued to believe that there must be something I haven't tried to make Ben a chubby baby. Do I still wish he would be bigger? Sure - but I have really come to terms that God is going to make him who He wants him to be, and I can either enjoy the person Ben is molding in to or I can be riddled with worry and fear....and by then Ben will be all grown up and I will have missed it. Ben IS a thriving and developing little boy, whether or not he is big or small...I am just now realizing that. The funny thing is that every one knew that before me, and I am the one who is with him the majority of the time.

Ben and the Chili Pepper.

If the title of this blog hasn't already scared you away - then I will have to be upset with you that you would want to read a story about MY son involving a chili pepper. Nothing good can come of this story....but I will tell it anyway....since all is OK now and he didn't die! :) So, my friend needed someone to stay at her house, while the packers were in her house packing up her house. They are getting ready for their next move in this military lifestyle, and she wanted to go and see her husband's fini flight (aka last flight here at Cannon). So Ben and I got to play with all of her little girl's toys and eat lunch there. It was a great time and all was well in the world of Ben, until my friend and her toddler daughter come home. Ben and Riley run off together, and next thing we know Ben is screaming! Since her house is either in disarray or in a box, Ben had managed to find this little pile of dried flakey stuff that was on the floor. After taking a sampling and crying and spitting - I asked my friend what this was on the floor. She said it was dried chili pepper remnants. She has a lot of red in her house, and being that we live in the southwest - I figured it was something from a dried chili pepper bunch used as great southwestern decor. So yes, my son was very unhappy and cried and drooled like no other for 15 minutes! It was horrible, but he recovered, and took a long, hard nap. Poor guy! I have to admit here that at first it was funny, but then after the heat in his mouth wouldn't quit - I really started to feel bad for this little person. Kids, let this all be a lesson to you....