a bad case of dg.

So it all starts with a can of Starbucks Iced Coffee or Nerds or ice cream or pineapple soda or….

Well, I promised a 2nd installment of my last blog titled "cake eating." I don't quite think that all of my neuroses are worth talking about. Seriously, who would? But this one has a little bit of ridiculousness associated with it.
A bad case of DG? DG is the acronym that my husband and I have coined to describe my habit. I do this all the time, and Rob doesn't do this all the time. And on occasion Jenny gets picked on for this. It stands for "delayed gratification" – I have gotten rather compulsive about delayed gratification. I am going to manage to talk about some of the same things in my last blog: cake and sex; not "baby" cake, but real cake. Delayed Gratification for me is "how long can I put off this thing that I really, really, REALLY love before I indulge in it?" (Thus resulting in maximum satisfaction – emphasis on maximum)

The answer to that can be determined for these betrothed items:
Can of Starbucks Iced Coffee: 6 months and still counting
Can of pineapple soda: 1.5 months (before husband nags me to drink it, because he was trying to be sweet by buying me something that I love.)
Ice cream: bad example, because Rob and I can polish these off pretty quick.
Nerds: bad example, because I have already determined that I'm addicted to them, I keep constant stock of them.

You see, people might think that I am a perfect candidate for Y2K because of this DG – remember the national freak out period where every one was storing items before the year 2000 – because we thought the world was going to end or something like that?!

Let me assure you that this is not the case. See, the reason for this is I feel that the longer I "persevere" and abstain from said item, the sweeter the Nerds taste, the fizzier the pineapple soda, the more jolting the Starbucks Iced Coffee. Basically – the more glorious the experience is going to be, because I have waited X amount of time. Yes, it's ridiculous, and yes, it is turning compulsive. I have some of that genetic dysfunction in myself. Rob also calls my DG – hoarding. We had a technical/symantics debate on whether or not is was right to call it "hoarding". It wasn't a long debate, because we're professionals at being married and we never fight. (Did I mention we're celebrating 3 years on Wednesday?!?!) No, not exactly, but we have gotten used to the fact that there are times where we know that once we've stated our individual positions, we're done and that's it, because we still see it our own way. I think someone has said "agree to disagree". That's it. Yes, we do that quite well. We STILL have issues about how each of us loads the dishwasher, but it doesn't matter, because when that one person isn't around we fix the dishwasher the way we like it…..and round and round we go. Beautiful harmony.

OK, so what am I saying? Again, I digress. Oh yeah, the debate about the term "hoarding". I told him that "hoarding" is when you continue to collect and collect and you never spend/use it. Like a miser, right? I told him, too, that I preferred it be called "savoring". I like to "savor" things. So the reason I save something is for that delayed gratification that will allow me to really "savor" (copy enjoy) it.

Now to talk about cake. Remember the phrase we talked about? "You can't have your cake and eat it too." Well, this is why once he clarified the true meaning, thus ruining my last blog entry, it really made painful sense to me. Because you can't have the two things at the same time "cake" and "eating the cake". And this is why Rob, in a sense, is correct in calling it "hoarding", even though I am not actually continuing to collect more and more. I am purposely not eating the cake, because I still want to have the cake in my possession. Until the "eating the cake" part seems more rewarding, then I will still have "cake" in my possession. And in fairness to my preference of "savoring", I, too, am correct because in order for me to really "savor" (enjoy) my "cake", it requires that I wait X amount of time until I really, really, REALLY want it.

So what have I not talked about that I said I would? Oh yes, sex. Think about the wedding day and the wedding NIGHT. Maybe this DG gene that I have is a female inherited thing, and the lack thereof is a male inherited thing. Let me explain. See Rob's approach to my behavior is just this: "Jenny, you can 'savor' it, just get some more. See, I continue to "savor" over and over and over." Now think of the traditional wedding process. You are constantly building and building up to that day, and no matter what, people will always say that that day happened so fast and it was a blur. Now, I think girls will say that more, because for guys it's just a countdown thing. How much more time until the Wedding Night?!? (picture kid in backseat of car: "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?") Now think of another analogy frequently mentioned. C'mon we all have heard it. "Men are like microwaves and women are like crockpots". How true. And as far as sex – it's the road to the destination for women, and men just want to get there.

And likewise is true. I know if I asked Rob to "savor" sex, he would LAUGH in my face and say "Jenny, you can 'savor' it, just get some more. See, I continue to "savor" over and over and over and over and over!!!"

Houston, we have a problem. Alright, I think this one's a tie, unless I can get some audience participation. So…..? Is it a girl thing? Or is it a "Jenny, you're ridiculous" thing?

I ask you all: Would you rather have your cake or eat it?

Aw well. Cheers anyway! (Sigh. I think I need a day job.)

Little tribute to our wedding day.

lose something? there isn't any cake in there.

cake! wink, wink.