not a diva.

I am not a highly political person. And being that I am not even sure what that means, let me clarify: I have been quite disenchanted with both sides. While I tend to relate more with the conservative/Republican party, I have been quite dissatisfied this year with both sides. That being said, I find it only slightly (insert sarcasm) annoying that Sarah Palin is being referred to as a "diva".

I think I find it slightly annoying today on a day where I feel completely exhausted from being pregnant, and frankly, packing too much in these last two weeks before I show up for my c-section party on 6 Nov. How can a person who has birthed five kids, one with special needs, be even considered a "diva"?!?! While I know Hollywood glamorizes being pregnant, it is hardly glamorous, let alone "divine". Is that the adjective for "diva"? I don't even know.

Ben is only three and I feel like I am 75% of the time catering to his obligations and commitments - on top of feeling big as a barn and feeling like there are arms trying to climb out of me.

Let's just say for argument's sake, that with one child, I *hardly* feel like a "diva".

In fact, let me just mention a few things that don't make me feel like a "diva":

I don't feel like a diva at 37 weeks pregnant. This is only my second time, not 3rd, 4th, 5th or 6th time being pregnant. Just imagine the time involved in being pregnant for nine months, getting back to "normal" - whatever that is - postpartum? Now mulitiply that by the number of kids you have. Sorry, but it doesn't quite shout "diva" to me. Does it to you?

I don't feel like a diva when I am making dinner at the same time giving Ben a bath, and applying a little foundation and mascara - only to make it to our Sunday School group and spend some time in the Word with friends. The minimal makeup and brushed ponytail are just so my friends don't have pity on me for my ragged appearance.

I don't feel like a diva when I am constantly having to remind only *one* child to brush his teeth, get dressed, eat his breakfast/lunch/dinner, go to the bathroom, so that he can make it to either Awanas, preschool, soccer, etc. Again, let me mention - this is one child, not more.

I don't feel like a diva when I am trying to prepare goodies for both a playgroup and a home party that I said I wanted host for a friend.

The bottom line here is not that I want any pity on me or the way I feel at almost 38 weeks pregnant. I love my life, and I love doing all these things because I love my family. Really. I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world.

All I'm sayin' is that I feel bad for the chick who gets accused of being a "diva". The chick who juggles a family of 7, a marriage, and manages to take all of America's - at least all the Democrats' - criticism, because she was given/loaned/whatever a few outfits to run for the second most important job in the United States.

I'm just sayin'....

patiently ansy.

A note to my sweet girl: Today, my dear Lydia, you average the weight of a crenshaw melon - whatever that is - and close to 6 lbs. At least that is what this BabyCenter email tells me. However, we had an ultrasound appointment this past Monday, that my inlaws and Rob and Ben joined me for, and it was estimated that you are 6 lbs, 8 oz (the 63rd percentile), BUT give or take a POUND! How's that for "ballpark"?

Lydia was quite a busy girl the morning of our ultrasound. The tech said that she was the busiest one that morning, and she had already done nine other ultrasounds before us. I, too, could vouch for her activity. She had been quiet all morning, and as soon as I layed down and the tech started looking around, she was rocking her cramped quarters. I guess she knew she had an audience. Uh oh....I was hoping for a more calm child this time around....

While I am 36 weeks pregnant, it has been decided by the us and our doctor's recommendation tht I have a cesarean section. I won't go in to "details", but I have had so many more complications with my ulcerative colitis with this pregnancy.

So with that, my c-section has been scheduled for 6 Nov, provided things don't get going sooner. We are very much excited to see our dear Lydia, but at the same time, I am not as anxious to see her, as I was with Ben, being that he was the first child. I am hanging on to these last days and cherishing them as much as I can. And trying to cherish Ben as much as I can, thinking that he is the only child for a few more weeks. I hope he knows what's coming to him. :)

There is a part of me that is ansy. Ansy to get back to normal. Ansy to get my ulcerative colitis back to being maintained/controlled. Ansy to run again. This cooling off has been such a terrible tease. I have already been toying with the idea of races, what few I can find in the South, since race season obviously doesn't last as long as it does in cooler climates.

I started looking into some of the latest races that would be do-able, both physically and locationally. One of the latest races is Nashville's Country Music Marathon/Half Marathon held at the end of April. Except for the fact that it is so darn expensive, and my frugality is kicking in big time. I honestly have a hard time paying close to a hundred bucks for only a half marathon, especially considering that the full up marathon is only like $10-20 more and also taking in to consideration that both Rob and I would particpate in it. So I looked in to some smaller races and have a found a few. One is late March and the other two fall in mid-April, one being Ben's birthday. I will not commit until I see how things go, but I am have noticed myself thinking about it a lot more lately. I will not expect to PR it, but to just enjoy being back doing something I love. My health has been considerably different this time around, and not for the better. And so I expect there to be some differences in recovery, but from what I learn from many mommies, whether it be about kids or pregnancies, is that they are all different. I just pray that I handle things graciously and fully trusting in the one who created me.

a growing belly.

I told myself that this time around I would be better about taking belly shots. I even told myself that I would have those fun, artsy belly pictures this time. And that never happened either. I was even looking forward to it, because I thought having the pictures with Ben would be really cute. However, that didn't really end up happening. I guess I just take for granted having a growing belly, and my family and friends don't really get to see. I've been hogging my belly all to myself~ha! (only slight sarcasm.)

I've seen so many friends take pictures so regularly and at even intervals. I have enjoyed seeing them change as they grow a life from a bean to a baby, that I thought I ought to share some photos. Unfortuanately, I don't think I took them too regularly or at even intervals, but here is what I've got.

10 wks.
22 wks.
25 wks.
27.5 wks.
35 wks.

boys versus girls.

Today I was watching a DVR'd Oprah that had Dr. Oz on it. I don't really watch Oprah much, but I love when Dr. Oz is on there. The topic was men versus women in terms of the way their bodies work and the differences.

I don't know if it's just because I am pregnant, tired of being slow and huge, and indignant - but after watching it today - talk about women getting the SHORT END OF THE STICK! Maybe it's just the hormones talking, but here is what I learned:

Why women are such cheap dates when it comes to alcohol consumption:

Dr. Oz said that it is not primarily a size difference, but a biological one. Would you believe that men have an EXTRA enzyme that digests alcohol? Well, probably not my husband, considering he has a liver issue called "Gilbert's syndrome" (French pronunciation). Really? Is this what men need?! He also went on to mention that Asians lack an enzyme in their liver that most others have. Back in my day of drinking and being young - I used to refer to me getting red in the face when I drank as the "Asian curse". Little did I know that there was some fact behind it!

Mommy Brain.

I really try to refrain from this phrase, because I thought it was some made up issue to make moms feel better about themselves whenever they got forgetful or flakey. For instance, I was supposed to pick up my friend's daughter from preschool today, and I failed to remember to meet her in the morning to get her carseat. Shoot, I apparently didn't even notice the minivan flashing its brights at me. What the heck?! But when my friend, Heather, actually did reach me, I told her I had no good explanation, I jokingly pointed at the pregnant belly, but was not serious. HOWEVER, there, too, is fact about Mommy Brain. Dr. Oz said that when you're pregnant, your brain actually SHRINKS by 8%, but that it is the cells that are shrinking, not that you're losing cells. He also said that because babies need so much Omega-3 Fatty Acids (which is a necessity for memory), the baby just leeches it off of you, leaving you with sparing amounts, and your memory takes one for the team. Fabulous.

Lung Function

This one almost made me downright mad! I always figured that it wasn't right to compare people's different sizes with their performance. I figured....well, we're all proportional, so it's relative. But nooooooooo....Men have larger lungs than women, so they can quickly level off once they start, let's say, running. When men start running, the huffing and puffing of warming up tapers off much quicker apparently than women. Here's where I think Dr. Oz was trying to give a warm fuzzy to women. And after being crabby about all these injustices, it worked with me, especially because it's about running and getting strong. Here is what he said: While men have that advantage, women, once they get in shape, can catch up quickly and are, therefore, capable of more improvement. To me, that is more rewarding, however, I am sure a die-hard pessimist would say, "well, it's just because you can only improve so much and if men are starting out with a more competitive edge, than it just makes sense that they can't improve much more." And you could look at it like that, but I love the joy of improving and getting faster and stronger.

Memory and Worrying.

Finally, it turns out that there is some truth to a woman never forgetting. It was said that a woman's brain has a larger hypothalmus than a man's brain. Because this is part of the brain is central to memory, they said that we, women, have a more complex memory in terms of "emotional event detail." She used the example of how we might remember arguments more specifically than our counterparts. Hmmmmmmmm....

Worrying: It has always seemed like I worry more than the husband does. When there was something serious that I worried about, it always drove me a little crazy that Rob, while concerned, seemed to have better reign over those thoughts than me. Did I say a little crazy?! Well, sometimes more than that. Another distinction between male and female brains is the anterior cingulate cortex. Studies show that this area of the brain deals a lot with worry, and research finds it interesting that this part in the brain is, also, larger in a female's brain than a male's brain. This may give some explanation to women worrying more than men.

And after all is said and done - we get to live longer. Some things just don't make any sense....