Babbling like a Brook: the corniness that is the "circle of life".

I call it corny, because until you experience it, it does seem rather, well, "corny". Seriously, The Lion King scene is playing in my mind with that song that Elton John wrote. And that other song, "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?"

My mom recently went back to Michigan where I am from, and visited all of our old church friends and revisited some places that hold fond memories. (My "corniness" is now telling me that "fond" is such a mild and inaccurate word for such an important thing. Memories are NOT fond, they are foundational and pivotal to the human soul. Hmmph, "fond".) Among some of the places she visited, she went to our old house and the first apartment that they brought me home to as a newborn.

This "corniness" began for me when Ben was brought in to this world. I just could not have appreciation for memories, upbringings, childhood memories, until it became relevant to me. And it only became relevant to me when the roles were reversed a little bit and I became Mom. Every single day I learn just what it means to enjoy the single moment in anything. Does that mean I always do it? Heavens, no. But I have learned through a two year old that life is just a chain of single moments all put together and that change happens so fast your only option should be to accept it and breathe it in - beause IT WILL BE GONE. And some day it will only be a "fond" memory. A child really shows you that because they change with the day. And while it can bum rush you - you really can look back at some point and realize that it was all for the good. They *need* to change that much.

As for my mom's trip to Michigan, she provided me some pictures of her trip that gave me a little "hindsight". It is so easy for me at times to get stuck in the "now" and think that the way things are now, are always going to be that way. I especially think that way when things are going badly - ie. sick child, onerery toddler behavior, life in general, etc. Here are some of the pictures that she sent to me.

My first apartment. The place my parents met. The place they lived in when they got married. The first place they brought me home to. Obviously I don't have many actual memories of this place, but I know my parents do and I know it means a lot to them. And it is a mile from the house you'll see below. I can tell you the memories of first time parenthood for us, and I know it was emotionally charged at times. I can tell you that Rob and I never had a single argument until we had Ben. Life was good, and when we had Ben it was better and still is better. But, it was an adjustment. "Agreeing to disagree" became a bigger challenge, because there was a life at stake. A life at stake that we both love immensely, and when two opinions conflict in terms of parenthood, it's not a disagreement that you can just shrug off.

Here is the home we lived in for the longest. We moved there when I started 5th grade. Please notice my tree. My tree. The one I planted. The one that was just a tiny sapling. The one my dad didn't think would really grow. Sounds negative? Well, at first, yes. But I look back at it now, and he never said much about helping me plant it. He just humored me and helped me stick it in the ground per my request. To me, that speaks volumes. I know it takes great strength and faith - even if only the size of a mustard seed - to just take a break from "parenting" and just let your child do what they will. I know, that I haven't even acquired this skill, strength, what have you. Ben's only two and already I want to control. What he eats. When he naps. How hard he plays *all* day. He hasn't even had a birthday that ends in "teen" and it's already hard for me. Anyway, this sapling I brought home from school was a gift to all the students at Challenger Elementary which was named after the space shuttle, and was given to all of us in memory to the astronauts aboard that shuttle.

Here is a rear view of our house on Bringham Lane. The upper right hand corner of the house with a ledge under the window was my bedroom. Here is where I played out some of my rebellion - at night, I would sneak out my window, and sit on the skinny ledge and smoke cigarettes. You know. Because it's cool, and your parents really have no idea anyway what's good for you. (heavy on the sarcasm.) Even that surgeon general guy on the pack was probably wrong, too! :) It went unnoticed until my neighbor mentioned that he had cigarette butts in his lawn. And while he, too, smoked, he also loved his lawn and would never think to litter his filfthy habit on his beautiful lawn. In fact, he and my dad would often stand near eachother at the edge of their respective lawns and just stare at the lawn or watch the sprinkler and chat. Guy bonding, what else can you say?! (yes, I know now smoking is bad for you. ha.)
Back to the present. We just returned home from vacation in Florida and Disney World. What a fun trip. While Ben had a blast - the real fun was for his parents. Talk about reliving childhood. Talk about reliving the things your parents wanted you to enjoy when you were a kid, but you couldn't really because you didn't have hindsight, relevance, perspective. Geez. I suppose that "youth is really wasted on the young". But - the corny "circle of life" brings it all back to you, when you get to watch your children grow and change and you only can smile and say to yourself "someday they will know and understand what it's like to be a parent". And when God grants the peace and promise of that, you can really sit back and just enjoy reliving through your kids.